"What the caterpillar calls the end, the master calls a butterfly."
~ Richard Bach
Looking back on my life, I feel I have spent much of my time waiting. Waiting to heal, waiting for things to get better, waiting for life to move on... and what I have found in the process is that it is almost always excruciatingly slow. There were times when I thought my situation would never change because it was taking so long. I have since learned that, indeed, things do get better and, yes, life does eventually move on. More importantly, however, I have found that while I've been waiting, there's been a transformation happening.
After we've lived long enough, most of us recognize that when we look back on our mistakes, hardships, and bumps in the road... if we're willing to take a good look at them, we can see that we have, indeed, learned something and grown in the process. It seems that this is most obvious after we've gone through the trial and are on steadier ground, however, wouldn't it be helpful to recognize this while we're going through it? With this in mind I've been trying to be mindful of what I'm suppose to be learning in the waiting, so I've started seeking that inner voice and asking, "What do you want me to learn from this, and what should I be doing in the meantime?" The more I do this, and the sooner I ask, the calmer I feel and the more things become clear. I also remind myself that studies have shown that it takes a good three years for life to feel "normal" again after a crisis, trauma, or huge bump in the road. This is a long time! Or at least it feels like it while its happening.
So when we find ourselves in a rough season of life that seems to have no end in sight, it helps to remember to stop and consider what we might need to learn in the process. Most likely whatever it is that we're learning is preparing us for what's to come, and transforming us into who we need to be to complete the mission. Although it takes patience, it also brings a sense of peace that someone is looking out for us and making sure we're healed, comforted, loved, and ready to move on. Martha Beck talks about how when caterpillars go into their cocoon they soon dissolve into a liquid state and their DNA rearranges itself completely. Then, when the time is right, they break out of the cocoon transformed into a beautiful butterfly... ready to fly. It's important to remind ourselves that it's okay, and even necessary, to stay in a cocoon at different times in our lives until we're ready to take flight once more. For when we emerge we will notice that, not only have we become more beautiful like the butterfly, we have also grown wings.
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