"There's nothing I wouldn't do for those who are really my friends"
~ Jane Austen
I think we have all been in a position at one time or another when we've needed the love and support of those around us. Sometimes we're simply having a bad day, however, other times we may have truly lost everything, or completely hit rock bottom. Either way, the love and support of family and friends can make a huge difference in how we are able to handle our situation and whether or not we're able to move forward.
I remember when I had cancer and had plenty of family, friends, and neighbors dropping off meals, offering to watch my girls, and checking in regularly to see if I needed anything. This was a life saver and exactly what my family needed, however, what I, myself, really needed was simply someone to talk to. I think I especially needed this after my treatments were finished and I was trying to put my life back together so I could move on. I probably should have gone to a counselor to talk things through, however, I didn't think of it at the time so I tried talking to a few family members instead. I don't think I voiced my needs as well as I should have, or expressed how lost and beat up I felt recovering from a year that was not only physically exhausting, but mentally as well. Because of this, I didn't get the support I needed and was left to pick up the pieces all alone. I have since wondered what I should have done differently and I've come to the conclusion that voicing my specific needs would have made a difference. It has also made me wonder if we, as supporters, are not aware enough of what others need when they're going though a hard time and not really hearing what is being said...
I was watching Dr. Ramini, a licensed clinical psychologist, the other day on Utube and in this episode she talks about an article she read that discusses how to connect with someone who is going through a hard time. The article suggests using the 3 H's which stand for, helping, hugging, or hearing. Asking whoever your trying to help which "H" they need will give them the opportunity to voice their specific need and get the help they'll truly benefit from. I thought this a great way of recognizing that people may need different things at different times depending on the situation and it may also open up the lines of communication giving the supporter a better opportunity to offer their support in a way that is most beneficial.
We all need support at one time or another and we all know how helpful it is when we get the type of support we need. Honestly, it could literally save a life. I hate to think of those who either didn't feel as though they could ask for help, or did ask for help but weren't heard, and then felt as though they had no other option but to end it all. Being more aware of what people are going through and offering the exact kind of help they are in need of may make all difference. So whether your the supporter, or the one needing the support, let's keep in mind the 3 H's when given the opportunity to either give or receive support. It's also important to remember that the 3 H's will promote Health. Happiness, and Hope!
Comments