One of the most important things we need to think about after we've left the church is how our life is going to change. Most likely it will change in some way, even if it's just not going to church every week. That in it self is a pretty big change and, for those I have talked to, some love it... the freedom of having an extra day to relax, not having to be somewhere, not having to prepare a lesson, etc. And some hate it... not having a structured day, not seeing friends and neighbors, not participating in a community event, etc. Either way, change is inevitable so it's important to think things through before making any big changes.
For instance, the way we dress might change, we might be more open to watching things we couldn't watch while we were in the church, swearing might not seem so bad, and we might begin to think differently about drinking, drugs, and sexuality. Whatever the changes are, it's important to compare them to our values and make sure they fit into the new life we want for ourselves. It's easy to get swept away with what society and social media is telling us is the thing to do so if we don't stop and think about how this might affect our life or get us off course from our integrity, we could find ourselves doing things that don't align with our inner compass, which usually ends badly.
However, when we take a look at our values we might find that we only want a few things to change so our life might continue to look similar to when we were in the church (minus the beliefs), which is completely fine. Our beliefs may have changed, however, many of our core values might remain the same. I've found this to be true for me, for the most part. I've been out for almost 10 years and, yes, some things have changed, however, my lifestyle is really not that different than It was back then.
If you find yourself wanting to see what's out there and try all the things you missed while Mormon just remember to go slow. I see so many people coming out of the church, going from one extreme to the other, and causing a lot of problems in the meantime. Besides holding on tight to your values, do your research. I've looked up things on Web MD pertaining to Marijuana and alcohol use and observed several AA meetings required in my MA program, which gave me insight into the challenges of drug and alcohol addiction. I've also read about the benefits of Medicinal Marijuana and some wines, which has given me another perspective. I have also read lately in National Geographic how alcohol is harder on older bodies so that's something to think about. Either way, doing your research will help you make the best decisions for you.
In the end, we're all different and will have our own experiences outside of the church , just as we did inside the church. What is fine for some, will not be fine for others. There's so much to consider like; age, stage in life, our own personal values, and what we're comfortable with personally. Another difference is personality. Some (like me) just have a more reserved personality I'm pretty cautious and like to know what I'm getting into before I jump in. I'm also pretty sensitive so I have to be careful what I let past my wall of boundaries and into my psyche. Knowing this about this myself helps me make better decisions for me... even if they're not the coolest. Better to be happy than cool ( ;
If you want more insight on how to deconstruct your own faith, download the free packet Rethinking Your Faith by clicking the link below! You'll find it on the bottom of the Faith Transitions' page
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