Ask for what you want when your at peace and the answers will come in the calm.
It makes sense that it's when our world is turned upside down, and we're in a crisis that we need clarity the most. It also makes sense that these are the times when we're the most frustrated, stressed, and anxious, which in turn, clouds our thinking. I know that it's during these times in my life when I've been the least productive, the most fearful, and hugely scatterbrained. I remember the year I had cancer I ended up with 3 traffic tickets, missed a bunch of meetings, and found myself at Target without my purse more times than I can count. Under the circumstances, I think we can agree this was the least of my problems, however, I wish I knew back then what I know now about the benefits of finding calm in the storm.
Since then I have found the importance of learning how to calm myself when things aren't going my way, or worse, turning into a crisis. I have struggled with anxiety my entire life and eventually got so sick of it that I decided I was going to do whatever I needed to do to learn how to keep myself calm, come what may. I still struggle with this, however, I have, thankfully, gotten much better by learning some coping techniques. Now when I start to panic, I stop and ask myself, Is this as bad as I'm thinking it is? Am I jumping to conclusions and going straight to worst case scenarios? What's the bigger picture here? Once my mind gets into this mode, I'm able to calm down and think more rationally. I'm then able to focus on my physical state by slowing my breathing and relaxing my body completely. Once I'm relaxed, I begin looking outside of how things appear to be and start wondering if there might be other reasons for what's happening than just dooms day. That's when I'm able to ask the questions, What's this really about? And, what am I suppose to learn from this? Maybe whatever is happening is actually a good thing... something that will make me wiser and stronger... and maybe it's not the end of the world. This thought takes the fear out of the situation and, instead, brings on curiosity, which is calming. Once I'm calm and in a better state of mind, I have a different perspective and can see things more clearly. That's when I ask the universe the questions, "What are you trying to teach me?" And "What do you want me to do?", and then I go about my day in peace, with my eyes and ears open, listening for answers that I know now will come in the calm.
This makes sense when we know how the brain works. When we're in panic mode, we're in a state of flight or fight, which begins in the amygdala part of the brain and is great for basic survival, but not so helpful for reasoning, planning, logical thinking, and emotion regulation. The part of the brain that is responsible for that is the frontal lobe, so being able to calm ourselves down and get out of the amygdala and move to the front part of the brain is essential for thinking clearly and hearing our inner voice, which is calm, rational, and always trying to tell us something.
So I encourage you to start practicing these techniques whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation and quickly turning to panic mode. The more you practice, the more your mind and body will naturally begin asking the right questions, which will lead to curiosity, which will lead to peace, which will lead to answers. And from there, you will begin to find hope again, which will lead to purpose and action, and this, my friend, is where the real adventure begins.
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